Sloppy Operator @ The Flash Fiction Offensive

“Her real name is Carol Cummings, but she prefers to be called Khandi Kane. She likes to tell people she works as a glamour model, but as far as I know she only ever made one topless calendar—for a local petrol station. She is better known as ‘Snow White,’ after she fucked a couple of midgets while shooting a video for a smut-freak called Caruso back in the ‘90s. She was supposed to fuck all seven but the others were too drunk and sat around in the background, wanking and smoking noxious-looking cigarettes.”

Last month I had a brand new Paignton Noir story featured online at the Flash Fiction Offensive: Sloppy Operator, Big thanks to editorial tag-team Rob Pierce and Hector Duarte Jr. for running the story!

I’ve had a whole bunch of stories online at the F.F.O. since making my debut on the old website way back in August 2009 with Triggerman, and it is always a real pleasure to be featured on the site.

Advertisements

The Glory Hole @ Horror Sleaze Trash

“There were hundreds of bogs in the Old Testament badlands, but the best one was known as the Glory Hole. None of us knew what a glory hole was back then, except maybe Curtis Corliss, and if he did, he never let on. Damn kid was a pervert even then. He knew more about sex at the age of eight than I do at fuckin’ 38.”

I’m excited to have some brand new wrestling noir now online at the excellent Horror Sleaze Trash today. Check out The Glory Hole!

… and if you like that, why not check out my previous HST story, Fairytales For Hard Men.

Big thanks to editor Ben John Smith for running the story!

Black Sheets of Rain @ Pulp Metal Magazine

“It was raining the day I buried my step-father, Eddie. I owned nothing in black, so I had to wear my work uniform: a crop top with the words ‘Slop Shop’ across the front in bright pink letters. By the end of the service I looked like the runner-up in one of our ‘Sloppy Sunday’ wet t-shirt contests.”

Last month I had a new piece of flash fiction published by the excellent Pulp Metal Magazine: Black Sheets of Rain. Big thanks to editor Jason Michel for running the story.

This one isn’t pure wrestling noir, but it is part of the Testament story cycle, and fits in alongside the other material.

Clawfist @ Spelk Fiction

Gordon Guthrie is wearing a signet ring bearing his dead wife’s initials.

The fingers of his clawfist — his left hand — are cracked and withered, and he twists the ring idly with the fingers of his right. He stares out of the boxy TV set at me with bloodshot eyes.

“If you are watching this video, it means I am dead.”

At the end of March I had a brand new Paignton Noir story published by the always-entertaining UK flash fiction site, Spelk. Thanks to editor Gary Duncan for having me back on the site for a 9th time!

Check out Clawfist.

Beauty and Ruin @ The Flash Fiction Offensive

“The midday sun burns like a bullet wound. It feels hotter on my bare shoulders than the arena lights on fight night. There is no breeze, and the stink from the petrochemical plant lingers in the air like an afterthought.”

Last month my story Beauty & Ruin was published by top US crime site The Flash Fiction Offensive

After Hellbelly and Gusher, this was the third wrestling noir story to appear at The F.F.O.

Big thanks to editors Hector Duarte Jr. and Rob Pierce for running the story.

Bloater @ Shotgun Honey

“Midnight. The Slop Shop. The woman onstage looks around 60. She is wearing purple sequinned bikini bottoms and mismatched shoes. Her skin is tanned brown like leather. It reminds me of the suitcase my mother packed when she walked out on me and my pederast father all those years ago. Her stomach is swollen, and it looks like she is pregnant, but she can’t be, can she?”

My short story Bloater was published by the excellent Shotgun Honey in January this year. This one isn’t pure wrestling noir, but it takes place in the same world as the rest of the stories that make up The Good Book, my work-in-progress collection.

Check it out!

The Last Dog and Pony Show @ The All New A Twist of Noir

“They say you always remember your first fight. Your first fight and your first fuck. I sure-as-shit remember mine. I was at the carnival, watching the kootch show, when Alvin Lupus broke his right wrist and four fingers on his right hand trying to shatter my jaw. I didn’t blame him – he had just found out that I had fingered his older sister up against the Crippled Civilians’ clothing donation box the previous Saturday night.”

Way back in 2010 my first wrestling noir story, Other’s People’s Pussy, was featured in the 600-700 word challenge, as hosted by cult crime site A Twist of Noir. Seven years on, the original editor, Christopher Grant, launched The All-New A Twist of Noir, and I was delighted to have my story The Last Dog and Pony Show on his new site.

More wrestling stories coming soon, but in the meantime, check it out!

Blue Christmas @ Near To The Knuckle

“Why was Father Christmas upset when he got a sweater for Christmas?”
I shrug.
“Because he was hoping for a screamer or a moaner.”

Blue Christmas was the third of my three festive crime stories to go live last year, when it was published by UK crime site Near To The Knuckle on Christmas Day!

Funnily enough, my first ever NTTK story was a Christmas story too: Christmas Eve Can Kill You.

blue-christmas-tom-leins

The Guns of Brixham @ Akashic Books

“The skinhead wipes the rain out of his eyes and cackles.

“I’m glad I’m not the poor bastard that has to try and identify your body.”

His pump-action shotgun is wedged against my throat. He is going to make one hell of a mess…”

In November last year my story The Guns of Brixham was featured in Akashic Books’ ‘Mondays are Murder’ series. This was my third Devon-based Akashic story, after Paignton Rust and The Graveyard Shift, which was set in Plymouth.

I love the long-running Akashic Noir paperback series, and it is always a pleasure to be featured on the website.

guns-of-brixham-tom-leins