Splatterproof Is Not A Challenge @ Shotgun Honey

“Do you know how many times you need to bounce a man’s skull off a breezeblock wall before you split the epidermis, shatter the brain-pan and draw blood?”

This week I have some brand new flash fiction online at Shotgun Honey: Splatterproof Is Not A Challenge.

Joe Rey gets a new assignment and 700 words of carnage ensues!

Splatterproof … is my sixth Shotgun Honey story. A previous Paignton Noir story, Ventilator Blues, was one of the jigsaw puzzle pieces in Repetition Kills You, while Bloater will be included in The Good Book later this year.

Strangely enough, a couple of my older Shotgun Honey stories are actually being reworked into longer pieces for a pair of future books. One of them has provided the jump-off point for what is shaping up to be my most riotous book to date!

Jingle Bells, Shotgun Shells @ Punk Noir Magazine

“It’s Christmas Eve and I’m standing in the middle of a stash house in Hookhills, bleeding from one ear and trying to work out which one of the hired hands I should shoot first: the skinny guy in the soiled Sexy Santa minidress or the fat fuck in the scuffed-looking ballistics vest.”

Thanks to Paul D. Brazill for running this year’s Paignton Noir Christmas story, JINGLE BELLS, SHOTGUN SHELLS, at Punk Noir Magazine.

This is a heart-warming festive romp involving firearms, fuckwits, Fentanyl and food banks. You can read it here.

And if you want some added Christmas cheer, why not check out my previous Christmas stories here?

Dancing With Myself @ Sea Minor

“The common perception is that short story collections don’t sell, and yet you have published two this year. What’s wrong with writing a fucking novel, like everyone else?”

This week Nigel Bird, a fellow All Due Respect author, let me interview myself as part of his Dancing With Myself series. I tried to ask myself a bunch of questions which no one else has asked me, and realised that I am my own toughest interrogator!

You can find the feature here. Oh, and the interview took place in the Dirty Lemon (naturally), so look out for a brief Joe Rey cameo!

Murderers I Have Known @ Horror Sleaze Trash

“The first time I see Lucius Lamont he is wearing a nylon stalking mask and a pair of greasy jeans. There is a snail-trail of fresh semen down his right leg. At best, he looks like Tailgunner centrefold material on a particularly bad month. At worst, he looks like the kind of guy who advertises his services at the back of the magazine, and ends up handcuffing you to a radiator and stealing your wallet. Hell, what do I know? I only buy it for the fucking articles…”

Last month I had a brand new Paignton Noir story online at Horror Sleaze Trash: Murderers I Have Known.

A deranged sex killer is on the loose in Paignton. Sounds like a job for Joe Rey!

Pointless trivia: this story involves a couple of surviving supporting characters from my forthcoming book Repetition Kills You (All Due Respect), which itself features a couple of nasty little stories that featured on the original Horror Sleaze Trash site a few years ago.

 

Snuff Racket: Out Now!

Ladies and gentlemen, I’m pleased to announce the publication of a new e-book: SNUFF RACKET.

Here’s the synopsis:

A missing video. A dismembered girl. A deranged ex-con. And a disgraced private investigator. It’s a dirty job, but someone’s got to do it…
Still recuperating from his previous case, Paignton private eye Joe Rey is hired by a mysterious stranger to track down one of the few remaining copies of a notorious 1970s Giallo movie – only to find himself embroiled in an increasingly vicious running battle with a demented ex-convict.

Buy:

UK

US

The Blood Red Experiment Issue #1

The chainsaw shrieks as it bites into the meat of her shoulder. She isn’t alive to feel the jagged burn – I strangled her with a length of electrical flex 40 minutes after picking her up outside Harbourside public toilets. She isn’t my usual type. I wasn’t aware of the bleached blonde hair and adult acne at first glance. She was pretty in her own way, but she didn’t excite me, so I didn’t dwell on the killing. The blood from the severed arm starts to pool under her blonde hair. It glints like dog piss on petrol.”

Out now: Issue #1 (of 5) of The Blood Red Experiment, a serialised neo-Giallo magazine edited by Craig Douglas (Near To The Knuckle) and Jason Michel (Pulp Metal Magazine).

The Blood Red Experiment includes my Paignton Noir-Giallo fusion DIDN’T BLEED RED, which features the cult film ALL ANIMALS SCREAM!

To find out more about my story, check out this interview over at the Graham Wynd blog!

Amazon UK

Amazon US

More Bizarro Than Bizarro – Out Now!

“It’s not even Halloween yet, but the stripper at the Dirty Lemon is already wearing a Santa hat. I drop a fake pound coin in her pint glass and she smiles through broken teeth. Out-of-season seaside towns – other people’s last resorts. I pick my way through the crowd – day-time drinkers crouched perilously on the edges of their barstools, like swollen suburban gargoyles – and head to the toilet.”

Out this week from Bizarro Pulp Press: ‘More Bizarro Than Bizarro’ edited by Vincenzo Bilof.

This collection includes my story, Here Comes That Weird Chill, which plays out like a grindhouse version of Scooby Doo. Set in the Westcountry!

Here is an interview on the Bizarro Pulp Press site in which I discuss my story.

Amazon UK link.

Amazon US link.

Skull Meat – Out Now!

My Paignton Noir novelette SKULL MEAT is available for Kindle now, via Amazon. This story is intended as a teaser for my forthcoming collection MEAT BUBBLES (& OTHER STORIES), which should be out later this summer.

Here’s the pitch:

Hired by mobster Marie Andretti to ransack the office of morbidly obese local nightclub owner ‘Swollen’ Roland Smart, Paignton private investigator Joe Rey quickly finds himself plunged into a dangerous cat and mouse game – which leaves him fighting for his life. His quest for answers – and vengeance – sees him plunge headfirst into the queasy underbelly of the grubby little seaside town he calls home. Rey is a man with a dark past, and, it seems, very little future. Welcome to Paignton Noir.

Amazon UK link

Amazon US link

SKULL MEAT grew out of a few old, unfinished pieces I found lurking on my hard-drive. The prologue, ‘Paignton Rust’, was previously published as part of the Akashic Books’ ‘Mondays Are Murder’ series a few years ago, while other excerpts were featured by A Twist of Noir and Straight From The Fridge. It is too long to publish as a short story, and too short to be a novella, so an e-book seemed like a good idea.

If anyone reading this would like a free copy (mobi or PDF) in exchange for a review, drop me a line through the contact form.

Queasy @ Horror Sleaze Trash

“It was the day of my Uncle Alvin’s funeral when they came for me. I always knew they would.”

Earlier this month I made my second appearance at the excellent Horror Sleaze Trash. The story was called Queasy, which tells you everything you need to know.

If you enjoy Queasy, make sure you check out my previous Horror Sleaze Trash story, Actress On A Mattress.

Queasy Tom Leins

Jailbait @ Near To The Knuckle

“I twist the screwdriver out of his neck, and it makes a sound like a sloppy kiss. To his credit, he doesn’t even flinch.”

UK webzine-turned-publisher Near To The Knuckle has been serving up essential reading for fans of short crime fiction for quite a while now, and it is always a thrill to have a new story published by Darren and Craig.

My latest short, Jailbait, went live at the weekend – I hope you enjoy it!

Jailbait Tom Leins Near to the Knuckle