The First Five People You Meet In Hell @ Punk Noir Magazine

“A charcoal-grey Lexus crawls past the Hellton Manor meat-market. Under a blood-red sunset, Paignton sweats. You used to be able to see used needles glinting in the freshly cut grass, but no one has cut it for years and it sprouts up in unruly, discoloured clumps. I wipe a thick smear of dogshit off my boot and watch the Lexus.”

I’m excited to have a brand new short story online at Punk Noir Magazine today as part of this month’s Hellton Towers submission call. The challenge was to write a story set in a decrepit tower block called Hellton Towers. The First Five People You Meet In Hell was the end result.

Big thanks to this month’s guest editor James Jenkins (of Urban Pigs Press) for running the story!

Enjoy!

Joe Rey: Growing Old Disgracefully

“The sea looks grey and inhospitable, as breakers hit the beach, frothing and fading on the dark sand. Somewhere across town a prowl car siren wails. At least someone is having a worse fucking day than us.”

The new cover of Slop Shop helped to shift a few units last month, so I thought I’d overhaul a couple more of my least favourite e-book covers: Slab Rats and Skeleton Crew.

Looking at them side by side, I like the way Slab Rats depicts a young, lean 20-something Joe Rey and Skeleton Crew depicts a grizzled 40-something ex-con Rey, complete with scruffy beard and prison muscle!

As regular readers will know, there are a few key (oft-referenced) Joe Rey storylines that haven’t actually made it into print yet, so I’m aiming to fill in the blanks this year. Watch this space!

In the meantime, you can check out the new e-book covers here (UK) and here (US).

(Note: if you bought them the first time round, the covers should automatically update on your Kindle.)

Disco Blisters @ Shotgun Honey

“Sharon told me that he met her at Lymington Road coach station. Another Northern runaway heading for the English Riviera. Took her for sausage and chips at a greasy spoon in Torre and offered her a job as a glass collector in his club. When she said no, he offered her a cigarette laced with Donkey Dust and waited until she passed out.”

I have a brand new piece of flash fiction online at Shotgun Honey today: Disco Blisters.

I think it’s the ninth story I’ve had published by Shotgun Honey (starting with There’s A Place In Hell For Me And My Friends back in March 2013), but I might be wrong! After almost a decade it’s still a thrill to be featured on the site.

If you like Disco Blisters you should check out the last couple: Demonology and Short Lives & Blunt Knives.

All Due Respect 2021: Out Now

“The elderly woman’s face explodes in a ruptured mess of cartilage and bone as my lumpen forehead makes contact with the bridge of her nose. That’s going to leave a fucking mark.”

Today saw the release of All Due Respect 2021, a new anthology which collects the twelve monthly stories that were published by All Due Respect last year, alongside a surprise bonus story from John Rector, whose excellent 2010 noir novel The Cold Kiss comes highly recommended!

The collection – which has been edited by ADR head honcho Chris Rhatigan and Unlawful Acts blogger David Nemeth – includes my story ‘The Safe House’, alongside work by the likes of Rob Pierce, Daniel Vlasaty, Alec Cizak, Jay Butkowski, Copper Smith, K.A. Laity, Preston Lang and others. 

UK readers can click here to buy, or you can visit the Down & Out Books site for the full list of purchase options.

The 12 Crimes of Christmas: Part 5

“I’ve never worked for Ebenezer before – only for his business partner Marley. Ex-business partner, I suppose. Marley was found in the derelict Garfield Road multi-storey car park last month – throat slit, mouth sewn shut. His gouged-out teeth were stashed in the pockets of his sheepskin coat – along with the rusty chisel his assailant used.”

Blog visitors will be relieved to hear that my weirdly exhausting trawl through the festive archives concludes today, with a pair of Christmas crime stories that were published by Bristol Noir, namely: Ignorance & Want (2020) and Mistletoe & Swines (2021)! Editor John Bowie has published some great work on the Bristol Noir site, and I would definitely recommend checking out some of the emerging writers who have been featured to date.

As a bonus, I’ll conclude with the first ever Joe Rey Christmas story, Christmas Card From A Hooker In Newton Abbot, which was written back in December 2013 (but went live on New Year’s Day 2014)! I’m not even going to attempt to calculate how many Joe Rey stories have emerged in the ensuing eight years!

As always, thanks for reading. I hope you have a great Christmas!

I’ll be back with more Rey stories in 2022!

Savage Minds and Raging Bulls: Out Now

“Some people have a sociopathic disregard for fear. Not me. When I get scared, I feel it all the way down to my fucking ball-bag.”

These two crime fiction anthologies edited by John Bowie are out now via Bristol Noir. The second volume (Savage Minds & Raging Bulls) includes my story ‘The Proper Disposal of Body Parts‘.

You can buy the anthology here!

Blue Christmas @ Near To The Knuckle

“Why was Father Christmas upset when he got a sweater for Christmas?”
I shrug.
“Because he was hoping for a screamer or a moaner.”

Blue Christmas was the third of my three festive crime stories to go live last year, when it was published by UK crime site Near To The Knuckle on Christmas Day!

Funnily enough, my first ever NTTK story was a Christmas story too: Christmas Eve Can Kill You.

The Guns of Brixham @ Akashic Books

“The skinhead wipes the rain out of his eyes and cackles.

“I’m glad I’m not the poor bastard that has to try and identify your body.”

His pump-action shotgun is wedged against my throat. He is going to make one hell of a mess…”

In November last year my story The Guns of Brixham was featured in Akashic Books’ ‘Mondays are Murder’ series. This was my third Devon-based Akashic story, after Paignton Rust and The Graveyard Shift, which was set in Plymouth.

I love the long-running Akashic Noir paperback series, and it is always a pleasure to be featured on the website.

The Repulsion Box @ Crime Factory

“It is nine o’clock, and the Burning Wheel is emptier than a plundered grave. The warm summer air filters through the propped-open fire exit. It carries with it the tang of raw sewage.”

I am delighted to confirm that my new story The Repulsion Box is included in Issue #19 of the excellent Australian crime fiction journal Crime Factory.

This one is a nasty little slice of Paignton Noir, and I’m happy that it has found a home in such a great publication.

The Kindle version is dirt-cheap, so please check it out!

Other People’s Blood @ Near To The Knuckle

“Two men I don’t recognise walk into the TV lounge. The fat one is wearing a luminous-coloured t-shirt with the phrase ‘Amateur Gynaecologist’ emblazoned across it. I assume it is a joke, but in this town you never really know. After all, everyone needs a hobby…”

Last month I had a new slab of Paignton Noir over at excellent UK crime fiction site Near To The Knuckle. Check out Other People’s Blood, and let me know what you think!